I came here looking for a fight.
“Jesus Christ,
I’m 26, all the people I graduated with all have kids, all have wives, all have people who care if they come home at night. Well Jesus Christ, Did I fuck up?”
Facebook sucks, so do I.
I was browsing through Facebook yesterday evening, for what felt like the thousandth time that day when all of a sudden I came across something in my news feed that told me it just had to go. I was being shown that another completely random page on the site had been talking about the subject of a page I’d liked myself. It made me realise that my facebook was essentially made up of people and things I didn’t really care about, inviting me to events I didn’t care about and sharing things I didn’t care about and I’m one hundred percent sure that my likes and shares and statuses and invites were viewed in exactly the same manner too.
In the right hands, Facebook can obviously be an incredibly useful tool, for promoters, websites and bands alike, the service it offers is beyond anything else out there at the moment but I had customized my page beyond repair, for the ten percent or so I was actually using it for something worthwhile (chatting with friends, Punktastic stuff) the other ninety percent was me being a nosy cunt, looking at things that didn’t enhance anything I do at all, and the thing is, I spent a lot of my time doing just that. Looking at absolutely nothing, it’s surprising how draining that can actually be. It speaks volumes that the first thing I did when I opened up my laptop after work was press ‘fa’ on my address bar and clicking to facebook before remembering I had deactivated it yesterday. To mindlessly go to something I don’t enjoy, proved me right in my decision to fuck Facebook off.
It’s obviously my fault for letting myself get sucked into Facebook too much in the first place. I absolutely suck but so does Facebook for turning into such a shitty, money orientated machine, I’m not naive enough to think the site wasn’t made with the intention of making money, but they’ve turned something great into an absolute mess of a website.
i dont know
you know when you just feel stuck in a rut, and you’re not sure how to get out? and then you’re at a point where it feels like you should be doing something proper with your life, like finding someone that you could be planning on spending the rest of your life with and all you’re actually doing is writing a message like this on tumblr of all fucking places because you don’t particularly want anybody to take notice you just want to rant. FUCK.
i am 23 and i feel like 53, what the hell is wrong with me?
Given the recent news story in the press regarding this breed, I’m so glad this picture is series of pictures is getting out and about.
I have a Staffie myself and he’s the most loving, caring and loyal boy I’ve ever had. He’s such a soft shit head.
BUT this breed is capable of being a nasty dog IF allowed to be, I don’t know what the answer is to regulating dog ownership in the UK, but I hope people continue to keep in mind that its not always the breed, owners HAVE to take responsibility and be held for it too.
i can’t deal with how adorable this dog is
all the yes
In loving memory of Joanne Frances Marshman - April 9th 1966- 13th july 2008
“She was the best person I ever knew” - Chris Marshman.Hey Leon/The People The Poet,
This is a pretty personal story, and probably a sad one at that. I can’t think of any other band that could do it justice really, if you don’t decide to use it then that’s fine but I’ll give it a shot anyway.
Basically the story is about my Mam and how she died, the situation that I faced and how I dealt with it.
July 2008 and it was the day before I was due to go to Paris for a week, I was leaving home as I was going to stay at my girlfriend’s house so we could go and catch our coach to London together the next morning. I had got the train down with my Mum, we hadn’t really had a good talk in a long time, so in that half hour train ride we had talked more than we did in a long, long time, as the time came to part company for what would be the last time, I told her I loved her and that was it, the last time I saw her alive.
I went to Paris, and everything was going alright until the third day in, we were spending the evening in Montmartre when I checked my phone to see I had a missed call off my brother, it was just the one so I assumed he had forgotten I was in Paris and thought nothing more of it, the rest of the night was nice enough and we returned back to the hotel and went to bed.
Next morning, about 7.00 am I was woken up by my phone ringing, in the haze of waking up, I ignored it until my phone beeped with a voice message. It was my Aunt asking me to ring her back as soon as possible. I turned to my friend who I was sharing a room with and just said to him that I knew something was wrong. I called her back and she told me to get one of the people in charge (I was on a College trip with about 5 teachers) I demanded to know what was wrong but she wouldn’t tell me.
I ran upstairs to one of the teachers rooms and handed her the phone, by this time I was pacing the corridor before I realised I could hear her talking, putting my ear to the door, all I heard was her asking my Aunt how what was the best way to tell. I just found myself pounding on the door and snatching the phone before shouting at my Aunt to tell me what’s wrong.
By this time, I had all sorts running through my head, my Nanny, my Grandmother, My Dad?! Not once did I ever consider it to be my Mum, until she said that it was her, I pretty much felt as if everything had crashed around me, I hung up on my Aunt and ran as fast as I could to my girlfriends room. As she answered I tried to cry, but I couldn’t. Nothing had been taken in at all, so I phoned my aunt to collect all the details. My mum was in a bad way, she had had a stroke and then a brain haemorrhage, she basically collapsed and that was it, she was gone, at least inside her head she was, she was being kept alive on life support so I could come home and say my goodbyes.
The rest of the morning passed in a haze, the teachers booked me and my girlfriend a flight home, all I could remember was being a mix of emotions, sitting in the airport departure lounge I was flicking between smiling at random memories of my Mum and crying my eyes out at not knowing what to expect.
While in the airport I spent about £150 on two bracelets for us, one for her and one for me.
We flew into Birmingham, got our things and begun our journey home to Cardiff. The trip itself didn’t seem to take that long, not as long as I expected anyway and before I knew it I was at the Hospital, being greeted by my Uncle and taken upstairs to see my Mum.
The first thing I did was ask for some time alone which was obviously granted and the first thing I said to her was to stop messing around and just wake up, she didn’t look in pain, but she did look distressed, her brain was damaged so much that every so often her she’d make a face like she didn’t know what was going on, but that in some way, she was still there.
I was told that if I talked to her then her heart rate would increase, I’m not sure why but it did, by this time everyone had converged back around her and I decided to talk to her. I just told her how proud I was of her and how brave she was. I’m not sure about anyone else but if I heard that without knowing what was going on I’d pretty much want to know. So I told her what was happening, I told her that she was dying and whereas before her heart rate would only raise a little bit, after I told her this it shot up, it was huge, it was awe inspiring, I knew deep down in her subconscious she was fighting her absolute fucking heart out, she wasn’t scared, just fighting and fighting, like she would.
I obviously knew there was nothing that could be done, so I just gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead and let the Nurses begin the process of letting her die naturally.
We were told that it shouldn’t take long after she was taken off life support but she proceeded to fight and fight for a good hour or more, until it became apparent and certain that she was dying. She started to lose colour and her breathing became laboured. She had her family around her, a strong entourage of around 20 people. All holding it together to watch her pass away, by 4.30pm she had died, she was the best person I’ve ever known.
My Mum was an Organ Donor and the most helpful, caring person I’ve ever known and even after she died she continued to help people. Perhaps most poignantly I recently found out that her heart valves had been given to a child only 10 months old and once again as if I needed reminding, my pride rose considerably more yet again.
I missed out on tickets to the London Fall Out Boy show today and I’m not feeling too great.
It’s fucking stupid that I feel like this about what is essentially now a pop band, but all in all, Fall Out Boy are a band who defined my late teens and some pretty difficult times I went through. Mostly during Infinity On High, which is now probably my favourite ever album simply because it reminds me of the last Christmas I had before my mum passed away and because a song on that album (The Afterlife of the party) is the last song I listened to while with my mum on a train to Cardiff. It holds a lot of really fucking awesome memories for me.
Fall Out Boy are also a band who introduced me to some of the most incredible people I know and one particular person became one of my best friends through Fall Out Boy, and I know she wasn’t able to get a ticket either.
We always talked about how great and incredible a FOB reunion would be when they eventually got their shit together and started making music again. I never imagined I’d get to see them in a 400 cap venue again. I’ll be honest I am pretty devastated that I’ve not managed to get a ticket„ it sounds lame as fuck but I am. I’m still holding out hope that I can get a ticket somehow, but I don’t know.
goodness me
(Source: catdogminhye)
Mmhmmmm
A look back at 2012
So, 2012 is nearly over, for myself personally it’s been a pretty important year. This is a pretty self indulgent post so if you’re booth and reading this, I know, there is no need to call me a cunt on facebook.
January
New Year was rung in at a house party, it was that single moment that I knew moving out of Wales for a while was one hundred percent the right decision. I made some of my absolute best friends in London and I miss them all so much.
Early 2012, not much really happened, it was all about waiting for Summer to arrive, I won’t forget the feeling of being used to leaving the house for an 8am start in howling wind while it was still pitch black and the hopefulness that came with noticing the sun was rising AS I was leaving the house for the first time.
I finally got onto the staff list over at Punktastic, ever since I became aware of the site my aim was to be doing something that matters over there, after a lot of pestering to their editor I was given a shot and I’ve not looked back, the opportunities that have been afforded to me for working with the site have been incredible, at the moment I’m manning it’s Introducing features and I’m hoping to find the time to have a bigger input going into 2013.
Fast forward toAprilwhereby I made my dreams come true, yeah, I was in London at the O2 waiting for motherfucking STEPS to come on stage. Fucking yes. Me and Faye doing our bit for the scene, supporting it etc etc. Basically it was awesome.
Maybrought a few firsts, the main one being putting on my first show. My friend Rob Lynch was touring with Shane Henderson of Valencia, for my first show everything seemed to go fucking swimmingly. The venue was sorted, we had a fucking awesome line up and tickets had sold really nicely. I’ll never forget how happy I was by the end of the night, a lot of friends were there getting extremely drunk. It was just a really positively awesome experience.
Junecame around and it was time for Slam Dunk Festival, for the first time I was doing the whole weekend whilst working for Punktastic, I interviewed a few bands for the first time on Camera and saw a fair few others, this one was a big one because as a website we had again secured sponsorship of the acoustic stage and this time round it was a much bigger deal with Charlie Simpson headlining. A headliner I saw on both days, I still listen to the album and in my head get transported straight back to that weekend.
Unfortunately my Anxiety problems had started to get the better of me around this time and I kind of let that get on top of me again, it’s not ideal but I managed to snap myself out of it as the month wore on. Looking back it was probably due to the apprehension I had about moving back home. Which brings me on to another first, by the end of June I had, for the first time moved into a house on my own, not into University residence, or lodging, this was done with two of my friends from high school, it’s certainly been a learning curve, but thankfully, as of right now I can say we’re all still on speaking terms, which is great!
Before I knew it I was heading intoAugustand I had started a new job, which was my main worry before moving back and it was my first time working at Reading Festival.
I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders, along with Clara at Punktastic, we were running and organising ALL of the content for Punktastic, and fucking yeah, we worked HARD. It was an incredible experience though, I met a lot of people who were super helpful and obviously, the free cider helped a lot, I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been so drunk by 12pm on a Sunday in my whole life.
The best bit was taking a wrong turn while trying to find my tent during Foo Fighters headline set and ending up right behind the stage where all the production vans were JUST as the singalong for Best Of You was getting underway, I just turned around a listened, the noise was incredible, SO loud and a great way to finish off the festival season for me.
Septemberwas largely uneventful, had a few DJing jobs for Pop Bubble Rock in Cardiff, I’d love to do some more but haven’t really been given the chance to do so, so woteva but yeah, incredible experience and one that made me realise just how much I love music, I actually spent this month on a diet trying to lose weight and thankfully I lost near a stone, I’ve kind of plateaued but going into 2013 I’m hoping to get back into that routine and lose a lot more ready for Summer.
Going towards the end of the year, things got a bit shitty, but a bit awesome at the same time, somehow I managed to get a blood clot in my leg, it got so bad that I couldn’t even walk, and this was coming off the back off bruised ribs so it felt even more shitty. This was a time though where me and my ex girlfriend kind of came to an understanding, we were in a place where we could be friends again, and I’m pretty stoked about that, she’s someone who I can still talk to about pretty much anything, but where I used to get feelings mixed up, I don’t anymore, it took me a good two years to get over the breakdown of our relationship but now we’re in a good place and I’m glad!
November was spent trying to get over my leg being a cunt and before I knew it I was inDecemberand things were positive again, I’d found a new job and as a result of some financial stability I went to London with my Northern cunt friend Booth to see Alexisonfire on their penultimate ever London show, an incredible experience and one fitting to see out what was a largely great 2012, Christmas has come and gone and I’m gearing up for the mother of all new years tomorrow.
Going into 2013 I’ve got a fair few goals, I want to get into Europe and do some cool shit there. I want to expand my role at Punktastic, I want to get to a place where I’m happy with myself personally, I want to be able to make the effort to get to London a LOT more to see some friends who I miss shit loads and I kind of want to be not single again.
Either way (and this is going from the order on my facebook) Rob Lynch, Kate Vincent, Faye Turnbull, Leigh Murphy, Jason Lee Thomas, Tom Aylott, Phillip Bernard, Gareth Natale, Nathan Robinson, BOOTH, Marta Jasinska, David West, Maryam Hassan, Robert Kimber, Ana Lahoz Perez, Kristina Macdonald, Tom Smith, Trevor Leonard, Paul Woods, Michael Turner, Jen Sealey, Amber Norris, Lucy Romijn, Alex Mills, Jess Acreman, Elliott Clark, Tom Beck, Katt Dymmock, Alison Follows, Lindsay Slade, Nick Worpole, and whoever else I’ve missed out, thank you for making this year so good. See you in 2013.
Christmas
It’s always this time of year where I miss my Mum the most.
Since she passed away, all tradition has gone out of the window, no matter how hard I try nobody else makes the effort. My family is split in two and don’t speak anymore, not even around Christmas. I mean, right now I’m currently writing this alone in my house because nobody could be bothered to make up a bed for me at my Dads house.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up to an empty house and that fact just makes me sad. I’ll never forget how it used to be, maybe if I ever end up having a family myself then I can try my best to recreate it.
There is no family get together and there aren’t any presents anymore, I can’t help but get so jealous at people who have a traditional Christmas because Christmas in my family used to be just amazing and I miss it so much.
Look after your family and your friends, tell them you love them. They won’t be there forever and you’ll certainly miss them a LOT more, especially around times like Christmas.
For anyone who reads this, have an absolutely awesome couple of days and celebrate the shit out of Christmas.
Night x
I’ve been waiting for this to show up on my dash again, it’s been like 2 years wtf.
I think this one is called coincidence.
(Source: stopfollowingmethx)
