I came here looking for a fight.
I’m 26, all the people I graduated with all have kids, all have wives, all have people who care if they come home at night. Well Jesus Christ, Did I fuck up?”
Facebook sucks, so do I.
I was browsing through Facebook yesterday evening, for what felt like the thousandth time that day when all of a sudden I came across something in my news feed that told me it just had to go. I was being shown that another completely random page on the site had been talking about the subject of a page I’d liked myself. It made me realise that my facebook was essentially made up of people and things I didn’t really care about, inviting me to events I didn’t care about and sharing things I didn’t care about and I’m one hundred percent sure that my likes and shares and statuses and invites were viewed in exactly the same manner too.
In the right hands, Facebook can obviously be an incredibly useful tool, for promoters, websites and bands alike, the service it offers is beyond anything else out there at the moment but I had customized my page beyond repair, for the ten percent or so I was actually using it for something worthwhile (chatting with friends, Punktastic stuff) the other ninety percent was me being a nosy cunt, looking at things that didn’t enhance anything I do at all, and the thing is, I spent a lot of my time doing just that. Looking at absolutely nothing, it’s surprising how draining that can actually be. It speaks volumes that the first thing I did when I opened up my laptop after work was press ‘fa’ on my address bar and clicking to facebook before remembering I had deactivated it yesterday. To mindlessly go to something I don’t enjoy, proved me right in my decision to fuck Facebook off.
It’s obviously my fault for letting myself get sucked into Facebook too much in the first place. I absolutely suck but so does Facebook for turning into such a shitty, money orientated machine, I’m not naive enough to think the site wasn’t made with the intention of making money, but they’ve turned something great into an absolute mess of a website.
i dont know
you know when you just feel stuck in a rut, and you’re not sure how to get out? and then you’re at a point where it feels like you should be doing something proper with your life, like finding someone that you could be planning on spending the rest of your life with and all you’re actually doing is writing a message like this on tumblr of all fucking places because you don’t particularly want anybody to take notice you just want to rant. FUCK.
i am 23 and i feel like 53, what the hell is wrong with me?
I missed out on tickets to the London Fall Out Boy show today and I’m not feeling too great.
It’s fucking stupid that I feel like this about what is essentially now a pop band, but all in all, Fall Out Boy are a band who defined my late teens and some pretty difficult times I went through. Mostly during Infinity On High, which is now probably my favourite ever album simply because it reminds me of the last Christmas I had before my mum passed away and because a song on that album (The Afterlife of the party) is the last song I listened to while with my mum on a train to Cardiff. It holds a lot of really fucking awesome memories for me.
Fall Out Boy are also a band who introduced me to some of the most incredible people I know and one particular person became one of my best friends through Fall Out Boy, and I know she wasn’t able to get a ticket either.
We always talked about how great and incredible a FOB reunion would be when they eventually got their shit together and started making music again. I never imagined I’d get to see them in a 400 cap venue again. I’ll be honest I am pretty devastated that I’ve not managed to get a ticket„ it sounds lame as fuck but I am. I’m still holding out hope that I can get a ticket somehow, but I don’t know.
A look back at 2012
So, 2012 is nearly over, for myself personally it’s been a pretty important year. This is a pretty self indulgent post so if you’re booth and reading this, I know, there is no need to call me a cunt on facebook.
New Year was rung in at a house party, it was that single moment that I knew moving out of Wales for a while was one hundred percent the right decision. I made some of my absolute best friends in London and I miss them all so much.
Early 2012, not much really happened, it was all about waiting for Summer to arrive, I won’t forget the feeling of being used to leaving the house for an 8am start in howling wind while it was still pitch black and the hopefulness that came with noticing the sun was rising AS I was leaving the house for the first time.
I finally got onto the staff list over at Punktastic, ever since I became aware of the site my aim was to be doing something that matters over there, after a lot of pestering to their editor I was given a shot and I’ve not looked back, the opportunities that have been afforded to me for working with the site have been incredible, at the moment I’m manning it’s Introducing features and I’m hoping to find the time to have a bigger input going into 2013.
Fast forward toAprilwhereby I made my dreams come true, yeah, I was in London at the O2 waiting for motherfucking STEPS to come on stage. Fucking yes. Me and Faye doing our bit for the scene, supporting it etc etc. Basically it was awesome.
Maybrought a few firsts, the main one being putting on my first show. My friend Rob Lynch was touring with Shane Henderson of Valencia, for my first show everything seemed to go fucking swimmingly. The venue was sorted, we had a fucking awesome line up and tickets had sold really nicely. I’ll never forget how happy I was by the end of the night, a lot of friends were there getting extremely drunk. It was just a really positively awesome experience.
Junecame around and it was time for Slam Dunk Festival, for the first time I was doing the whole weekend whilst working for Punktastic, I interviewed a few bands for the first time on Camera and saw a fair few others, this one was a big one because as a website we had again secured sponsorship of the acoustic stage and this time round it was a much bigger deal with Charlie Simpson headlining. A headliner I saw on both days, I still listen to the album and in my head get transported straight back to that weekend.
Unfortunately my Anxiety problems had started to get the better of me around this time and I kind of let that get on top of me again, it’s not ideal but I managed to snap myself out of it as the month wore on. Looking back it was probably due to the apprehension I had about moving back home. Which brings me on to another first, by the end of June I had, for the first time moved into a house on my own, not into University residence, or lodging, this was done with two of my friends from high school, it’s certainly been a learning curve, but thankfully, as of right now I can say we’re all still on speaking terms, which is great!
Before I knew it I was heading intoAugustand I had started a new job, which was my main worry before moving back and it was my first time working at Reading Festival.
I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders, along with Clara at Punktastic, we were running and organising ALL of the content for Punktastic, and fucking yeah, we worked HARD. It was an incredible experience though, I met a lot of people who were super helpful and obviously, the free cider helped a lot, I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been so drunk by 12pm on a Sunday in my whole life.
The best bit was taking a wrong turn while trying to find my tent during Foo Fighters headline set and ending up right behind the stage where all the production vans were JUST as the singalong for Best Of You was getting underway, I just turned around a listened, the noise was incredible, SO loud and a great way to finish off the festival season for me.
Septemberwas largely uneventful, had a few DJing jobs for Pop Bubble Rock in Cardiff, I’d love to do some more but haven’t really been given the chance to do so, so woteva but yeah, incredible experience and one that made me realise just how much I love music, I actually spent this month on a diet trying to lose weight and thankfully I lost near a stone, I’ve kind of plateaued but going into 2013 I’m hoping to get back into that routine and lose a lot more ready for Summer.
Going towards the end of the year, things got a bit shitty, but a bit awesome at the same time, somehow I managed to get a blood clot in my leg, it got so bad that I couldn’t even walk, and this was coming off the back off bruised ribs so it felt even more shitty. This was a time though where me and my ex girlfriend kind of came to an understanding, we were in a place where we could be friends again, and I’m pretty stoked about that, she’s someone who I can still talk to about pretty much anything, but where I used to get feelings mixed up, I don’t anymore, it took me a good two years to get over the breakdown of our relationship but now we’re in a good place and I’m glad!
November was spent trying to get over my leg being a cunt and before I knew it I was inDecemberand things were positive again, I’d found a new job and as a result of some financial stability I went to London with my Northern cunt friend Booth to see Alexisonfire on their penultimate ever London show, an incredible experience and one fitting to see out what was a largely great 2012, Christmas has come and gone and I’m gearing up for the mother of all new years tomorrow.
Going into 2013 I’ve got a fair few goals, I want to get into Europe and do some cool shit there. I want to expand my role at Punktastic, I want to get to a place where I’m happy with myself personally, I want to be able to make the effort to get to London a LOT more to see some friends who I miss shit loads and I kind of want to be not single again.
Either way (and this is going from the order on my facebook) Rob Lynch, Kate Vincent, Faye Turnbull, Leigh Murphy, Jason Lee Thomas, Tom Aylott, Phillip Bernard, Gareth Natale, Nathan Robinson, BOOTH, Marta Jasinska, David West, Maryam Hassan, Robert Kimber, Ana Lahoz Perez, Kristina Macdonald, Tom Smith, Trevor Leonard, Paul Woods, Michael Turner, Jen Sealey, Amber Norris, Lucy Romijn, Alex Mills, Jess Acreman, Elliott Clark, Tom Beck, Katt Dymmock, Alison Follows, Lindsay Slade, Nick Worpole, and whoever else I’ve missed out, thank you for making this year so good. See you in 2013.
It’s always this time of year where I miss my Mum the most.
Since she passed away, all tradition has gone out of the window, no matter how hard I try nobody else makes the effort. My family is split in two and don’t speak anymore, not even around Christmas. I mean, right now I’m currently writing this alone in my house because nobody could be bothered to make up a bed for me at my Dads house.
Tomorrow I’ll wake up to an empty house and that fact just makes me sad. I’ll never forget how it used to be, maybe if I ever end up having a family myself then I can try my best to recreate it.
There is no family get together and there aren’t any presents anymore, I can’t help but get so jealous at people who have a traditional Christmas because Christmas in my family used to be just amazing and I miss it so much.
Look after your family and your friends, tell them you love them. They won’t be there forever and you’ll certainly miss them a LOT more, especially around times like Christmas.
For anyone who reads this, have an absolutely awesome couple of days and celebrate the shit out of Christmas.